How to go from uncomfortable and awkward to confident & secure in network marketing?

being on top business coping with depression direct sales faith generalized anxiety disorder identity in jesus life hack mindset network marketing

I've lived most of my life living in the shadows and feeling less than my peers. I'm an introvert who has fought depression since my second child and was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder in 2019. I'm pretty sure I have struggled my whole life with anxiety but I didn't have the words to describe how I was feeling until much later.

As someone who didn't plan to be a leader in direct sales but accidentally found something I was good at, I found it super awkward in the early years when I was with my peers. Most of the events I attended were with people I didn't know, without my team (who were absolutely MY PEOPLE), and also didn't include bringing my security blanket aka my husband. As a mama to four littles without family living local, someone had to get the kids to school and all the extra curricular events.

So, about the events... I didn't intentionally compare myself.  Honestly, if you would have asked me if I was comparing, I would have definitely said I wasn't. It just felt so awkward. To this day, the photos I see through my Facebook memories from the earlier years make me cringe a bit. I look so uncomfortable. If you struggle with this, I get it and I'm here to help! 

How did I go from the uncomfortable and awkward girl hiding in the shadows to the woman I am today? 

Great question.😂 Here are 3 things I recommend you start doing if you are struggling with confidence as a leader.

#1 Find your people. How do you do that? You may not like the answer but I'll give it to you anyways. Show up. Go to the events you are invited to. I was invited to the leadership councils, top leader retreats, and earned the incentive trips. And, while I was there, I didn't just hang with my upline. I made myself do the hard things and get to know new people.  I asked to sit with people I didn't know. I even roomed with people I didn't know. I volunteered to lead trainings with people I didn't know. I showed up in the community leadership Facebook groups, posted and also responded to other posts with help and encouragement. Sure, I talked to some people who didn't end up being my people. But, eventually, I found those who I could be completely myself with. I allowed myself to be vulnerable and real. I let them in on my insecurities and shared my thoughts with them even without knowing how it would land. 

#2 Do the uncomfortable things. These days there is a lot of push back on the 'fake it until you make it' approach but it worked for me. I wasn't necessarily being fake but I was absolutely showing up doing the things I knew I was suppose to do even when I didn't feel worthy of it. Getting out of my comfort zone was a regular occurence. Confidence isn't something most of us magically have. We have to earn it by being courageous. Lean on God, trust Him in the process. God's power is strongest when we are at our weakest.   {2 Corinthians 12:10 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.}

#3 Recognize your strengths.  We all have things we aren't good at. And, we also have things we are good at. Identify your strengths and lean into them. While I wasn't one to have a lot of systems or be good at understanding my numbers, I was excellent at thinking outside the box, encouraging others, social selling, recruiting and building community. Once, i started paying attention, I realized those who were good with numbers and systems weren't the best out of the box thinkers. Recognize your gifts and how God wired you. You can learn numbers and set up systems that will work for you. You can also partner with someone who thinks outside the box. God created you and didn't make any mistake. He allowed you to be exactly who you are for a purpose. Own it. 

You will not always feel like you are the rockstar you are. You will get caught up in the comparison game. If you look hard enough, you will find someone who is smarter, prettier, and better at some things. But, there is room for all of us. You were created with a purpose for a purpose. Don't live with a scarcity mindset. Don't allow the enemy to stay in your head. It's a lie. Flip the script. Trust God's words. Do your thing. Be yourself. Own who you are and trust God to bring you your people. 

P.S. So many times we know something is holding us back but we can’t put our finger on what it is. Get the free guide and protect yourself against the inner mean girl getting in your way.

P.S.S.  For more ideas and encouragement, join us. You don't have to do it alone ->Real Talk Tribe free community

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Melissa Batt: Faith Life Business Subscribe

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